Chinese Mothers

We had a very interesting article this weekend written by a Chinese American woman about the so-called “Chinese mothering” method and why she says it’s superior to typical Western parenting methods. The story has basically gone viral—I’m pretty sure it’s up to almost 1 million page views now, and it’s got over 1,500 comments!—and has evoked a lot of emotion on both sides of the issue.

The author, a Yale law professor, says that she disciplines her daughters hard. She won’t accept anything less than a B in their schooling. She won’t allow her kids to attend sleepovers, play on sports teams, watch TV or participate in school plays. She quizzes them and forces them to study for hours at a time. In her recounting of one incident, she won’t even let her 7-year-old daughter take a dinner or bathroom break while practicing the piano until she can get the piece down perfectly, even if that means it takes hours.

It seems a bit odd to me, and it’s certainly the total opposite of the parenting methods under which I was raised, but since I am in China, of course, I have many Chinese friends who say that the article, if not exactly spot-on, does hit close to home. Some even say they are thankful they weren’t coddled or spoiled by their parents and that Americans have become too soft. (But others, of course, think this lady is too extreme and will only hurt her children in the long run.) The kids I used to tutor in Beijing definitely had Chinese mothering, if not to this level. They had me, a private English tutor. They rarely watched TV. They didn’t play sports. When I asked them their plans for the weekend, their answers often involved reading and studying.

I suppose there’s no right answer when it comes to parenting (and sheesh, who am I to know!? I’m still a good ten years away from that one!). But I thought since it offers an interesting perspective on China and that’s what this blog is supposed to be about, it’s fair game for posting!

What do you think? What are the benefits and/or dangers of this so-called “Chinese” method of parenting?

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